grumpy

The day {Friday} just started off wrong.  I had been planning on getting out of bed at 6:30 before everyone else & working out.  I slept through the alarm though and was woken up by Beckham wanting a bottle at 7:30.  He is so smiley & sweet when he wakes up, but I was bummed I missed my alarm & my chance to workout.  Zac fed him and Grayson woke up, so I started getting him ready.  I must have been sending off irritable vibes because he was kind of acting out & I just kept getting more & more irritated.  Zac and I were trying to get work done & I was feeling completely overwhelmed, inadequate, and frustrated.  I wanted to do it all and felt like I wasn't doing anything.  Zac kept tickling me, talking with me and trying to tease me into a better mood, but I was stubborn & wasn't budging.  As we passed in the hall at one point he said (with a big fat grin on his face), "You are really irritable this morning, huh?"  I said, "yeah...and grumpy!"  (:  I was supposed to have a chiropractor appointment at 2:00, but I canceled it after I burst into tears about a couple stressed out money related issues.  Zac comforted and talked to me and I was working on some client emails while trying to keep Grayson from climbing all over me for a few minutes (he wanted to watch kid tractors on youtube).

Beckham was cooing on the couch and then I heard him fussing just a little.  I kind of said offhandedly, "just a minute baby, I'll be right there."  A couple minutes I went to check on him and my heart dropped.  He wasn't on the couch.  He had fallen off and was on his tummy just fussing a little and trying to roll over by the coffeetable legs.  I picked him up and checked him over and then started bawling again.  I felt like the worst mom ever.  My mom happens to be in tune with me without me having to say anything to her and she & Taylor showed up right then.  I took Bex into my room and let Grayson answer the door while I told Zac what had happened and tried to get a grip.  He assured me that Beckham was fine and that we'll just have to be careful when we put him on the couch and I calmed down a little bit.  I got Beckham in the tub and Mom took Grayson with her to ride in the combine with Grandpa Alan.  Cricket is changing a bunch of stuff next month & Zac and I have been working on crunching numbers, changing commission structures, and making plans for a while & still have a long ways to go in a week and a half so we wanted to make the most of the time we had to get work done.  First though, he told me to go get a 20 minute workout in and take a shower-two things I hadn't done for myself yet.  I did that while he tended to Beckham and after my shower felt a lot better.  We worked for about two hours straight and got a lot accomplished.  Grayson made it home and we had time to get a few things done around here before Jaeger came to hang out.  Amber called to check on me & listened to me vent for a few minutes-glad I could already laugh about most of it.

Chris & Layne came to have a game night with Zac which he hasn't done in a long time, so that was good for him.  The boys were good together-Gray pushed Jaeger around in the stroller for a good half an hour! and Gray went to bed super well at 8:00 since he didn't have a nap.  Bex followed at 9:00 & Jaeger gave in about 9:45.  I spent the remainder of my evening journaling, reading, and listening to the crazy guys funny conversations.  Decided beforehand to have a better, more positive & hopeful day on Saturday!