celebrating Tom

Saturday {9th} Zac and I got ready and Taylor came over to chill with Grayson while Beckham was napping.  We headed out to the cemetery for the graveside service for Tom.  Tom must have worked his magic with the Man in charge because the weather was sunny & warm-just like Becca was hoping for.  It was a beautiful day.  The graveside service was just for close family and friends and it was neat to see the support that Becca and the kids have.  She looked breathtakingly beautiful and when I hugged her I let her know I thought Tom was thinking, "dang my wife is a hottie!"  I know he would have been proud of her and the way she held her head high and loved the people around her.   I knelt down to Treyce's level after the pastor shared a few words and the casket had been set on the lift & people were saying their last goodbyes.  He put his hands on the sides of my face, pushed my sunglasses down and said, "I wanna go to your house."  Cute cute boy. 

Zac looked so handsome in his suit and the blue shirt that matched the color from Tom & Becca's wedding.  He and Rock were two of the pall bearers, along with Tom's three brothers and another friend, Beau.  They all looked handsome and I know it was an honor for Zac to have Becca ask him.  We hugged and cried a little and visited with some other friends and UPS workers who were there. 

Afterward, we headed back to the school to help getting everything in place.  As far as we were concerned everything was great and the auditorium started filling up fast.  I don't know how many people it holds, but it was jam packed, with additional rows of seating and many people standing throughout the entire service.  It was a nice service, but my favorite parts were Tom's brothers speaking and the slideshow which were really the only times throughout that I felt Tom's spirit strongly.  Zac and Rock sat with Becca and her kids and Treyce fell asleep against Rock's shoulder halfway through and stayed that way for a while.  They had an altar call because Becca's hope is that Tom's passing will help bring people to Christ and a desire to have a relationship with Him.  She took the kids up with her-Treyce just waking up & curling into her & then into his uncle Shane's arms-and I lost it.  I can't imagine her without him.  I don't want her or the kids to have to grow up without him.  I will miss the funny texts, sweet "just checking in" phone calls for both Zac and myself, his consistent smile & his completely unforgettable laugh.  Her church had a worship & praise team there that sang some songs and everyone stood.  Rock & Zac sat with their heads in their hands and cried.  I hurt for them.

The service was good.  But the entire time I sat thinking how grateful I am for the gospel in my life.  There wasn't a closing prayer.  There wasn't an awful lot of talk about Tom which made me sad since it was a celebration of his life.  I'm just grateful to know what I know about life after death and to be completely sure of it.  I'm grateful that Jesus gives second chances.  I'm grateful for the spirit and for the light & warmth I feel when truth is spoken.  I'm grateful for people who are faithful.  I'm grateful Becca has a strong relationship with God and that He lifts her up on a daily basis.  I'm grateful for other perspectives and viewpoints because they make me look at mine more closely.  I'm grateful for good music which invites the spirit. 

After the service Becca greeted everyone as they walked out which was so gracious of her.  She is just a beautiful person-inside and out-and I feel blessed to know her so well.  There were many colleagues of Tom's there {he worked at UPS for 8 years}, and one semi & one van parked outside, which was so cool.  They calmly & respectfully waited for Becca and when she finally got done greeting everyone, I got this series of pictures & burst into tears along with her when she started running out to them & stood in Tom's place for a picture.

We headed to a local church for the dinner afterward, but just stayed long enough to chat with a few people & get a few pics with Bec.  Zac and I went to dinner by ourselves afterward in Ontario and talked and talked about Tom, the service, Becca, and us.

After dinner we picked up our sweet boys at Grami's house and visited there for a while.  Headed home, got the boys in bed, and stayed up late talking about our "what if" scenarios.  We talked about being careful not to put restrictions on our spouses while on the earth in case we lost one or the other soon because the other spouse would feel obligated to uphold those restrictions even if they felt differently later.  We had quite a hilarious conversation-which Julie called to check on us in the middle of-and then ended up snuggling in bed which was wonderful. 

Sunday {10th} was a good day.  I love church.  I love going to church.  I love having a husband who knows how vital important it is to attend church every chance we have.  I love testimony meeting.  Zac nudged me to encourage me to go up and I protested.  My emotions were so close to the surface.  But I ended up going with him.  Grayson followed us, too.  Zac went first and bore a sweet testimony of how true the gospel is and how he's thankful that our church is not made up of perfect people, but of people who someday want to become perfect, like our Savior.  I choked up quite a lot and don't know if I made any sense, but basically said how grateful I am that my friends love the Lord and that He comforts each of us in our times of need and knows us individually.  Primary was wonderful-there is nothing better than being with children when you're grieving.  So thankful for my calling.

After church we raced home to change, laughed ourselves silly at something each other said, and headed over to Cleaver's for lunch.  The whole family was there for an early Easter celebration since Morgan was home and it was wonderful.  The boys loved playing with their cousins and we all had fun visiting and enjoying the sunshine and the brand new kitchen.  It felt different too.  No one rushed off afterward-we enjoyed each minute together.  We ended out the night by watching "Despicable Me." We captured a quick family photo for our 4 peeps 12 times April edition, but we may try & grab another later in the month since neither boy is looking.  I still like it.

{above: Zac was really sleeping and I thought it looked as if he and Layne were cuddling.  Ryan & Dad were laughing at them till I pointed out it kinda looked like they were cuddling too! below: he's happy as long as he has a broom, stick, or golf club in his hand!}

 {Lucy-one of our 3 babies born this year}

 After we got home & got the boys in bed, I started setting up for "potty training week."  I've been gearing Grayson up for about three weeks and we're both ready.  My week is pretty cleared for staying home & we are prepared with undies galore, treats, charts, etc.  Zac laughed at me and said, "You definitely never do anything halfway!"  Let the tales from the potty begin!