May day

Sunday May 1st was another great Sabbath day.  I love the thought of May & flowers, warmer weather, Mother's day, and several people I love celebrate their birthday this month too.  It's a good one.  Zac wasn't feel great still, so he stayed home & kept Beckham with him.  Grayson was my little church date and was so pleasant all through sacrament meeting.  We sat on the same row as the Bowns family and he totally loved that.  He and Christian had some funny faces going on.  Grandpa Farrell bore his testimony and he actually had help walking up the front & up to the podium instead of staying in his seat to do it.  That immediately got me crying to see him shaking & frail up there in front of everyone.  His testimony was strong and sure, but it felt something like a farewell speech of sorts and it made me panic a little.  I love that man so much.  I got up to bear my testimony and Grayson came with me.  I expressed my desire for Grandpa to live a good 30 more years {although I think he is not wishing that same thing}, but if he doesn't, I'm so grateful to have heard him bear testimony and to see him live that testimony every day.  I am grateful too for perspective.  My last week had been a pretty harsh one as far as mommy/wifehood goes, and Kurtis Nielson bore testimony of his gratitude for his mom {she had been gone for a few days} and it made me realize that I want my kids to remember me being happy.  I don't want them to remember me stressed & cleaning & grumpy.  I want them to miss me when I'm gone for a couple days-not just because I do things for them when I'm here-but because I'm HAPPY to do them while I'm here.  His sweet 16 year old testimony brought my perspective right back to where it needs to be.  That being a mother is a great & happy responsibility to me.  I'm thankful for people-even darling teenage boys-who are in tune with the spirit and express thoughts that are direct personal revelation to me in areas I'm struggling. 

Recently Becca told me that she was feeling bad when she was sad about Tom because she wanted to make sure to be a strong example of having faith in God and the fact that she knows Tom passing was part of His plan.  She felt like she was being weak by showing pain, sadness, asking why, etc.  I expressed to her that I don't think God expects us not to be sad.  I am so grateful that He knows what we're feeling.  That Christ experienced EVERY emotion & bad day we have so that I can talk about it and pray about it and know that I'm understood perfectly.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father doesn't expect perfection from us right this second.

Primary went well and I got to bear testimony to the kids again-I sure love them. 

We got home & Zac corralled the boys so I could get a nap-such a great act of service for me! (:  He got one after I woke up and while he was sleeping, I took the boys out to enjoy the sunshine!  It was beautiful & they loved it.  Around 6 we all headed to Pete's place to break our fast and enjoy dinner together.  Mom had made Zac's all time favorite meal that she makes: lasagna & french bread.  Yum!  We all enjoyed each others company {missed Kels & Jaeger who are visiting her family} Zac and Lance wrestled & Zac was out of breath for a good long time afterward! (:  Then the guys left to help Zac do water & I came home to put the babies to bed.